It has been over two months since I last posted on this blog. I wouldn't say that I had been too busy to compose a post, because I have not. I just... I kinda lost interest, somehow.
My last few posts had been about cooking. It was a fun project. I still like cooking to this day, I still like taking pictures of food, although not as frequent. In fact I've posted quite a number of said pictures in my facebook. Posting on facebook and making short comments about it feels very easy to me. Plus I can get immediate response from my friends within minutes, which made it that much more fun. Same goes to posting any picture for that matter.
But making posts for the blog started to feel like a chore. I don't have a lot of audience on this blog, and so everytime I felt the need to link up to numerous linky parties to get people to see my post, and hopefully like them and leave comments. At some point it was like I was posting for the sake of getting people to visit my blog. It was like blogging for the sake of blogging. It was getting exhausting, and it was getting less fun.
Before facebook and twitter and blog parties and such, blogging used to be a medium of expression to me. It was not about getting visitors and comments. It was just me, putting a piece of myself out there, regardless of what people think. Regardless if people saw it at all.
And so I just stopped blogging for over 2 months. Until yesterday.
Someone posted a link on twitter about Medium. I clicked on the link and found my self in a world of writings. I signed up, and even though I've not been invited to write there, I found myself clicking through the posts. Some are intriguing short stories, some are techy, some about plain old cooking, even some short smut stories ;). It was a bit of everything, but it was all about writings. Putting words into sentences into paragraphs that are enjoyable to read.
And it hit me. I miss writing.
Over the years, as I become more and more involved in the world of social media, I actually have become more restrained. Whereas in my early days of twitter, for example, I would just blurt out words, nowadays I found myself typing something and then erasing them. I guess the same goes to blogging.
How I miss writing.
The thing is, I often find that my long writings... or ranting if you will, comes from that darker place inside me. And that place is not exactly a pretty picture. Who wants to read about complains after complains?
At least that's how I feel when I look at facebook and twitter. There are people whose posts are mainly about complains, dissatisfaction, unhappiness. "Galau" as Indonesians call it. And often enough I became bored reading them, cos it wasn't even amusing anymore. So one day I told myself that I will not be one of those social media "galau" people. Well allright, nobody can be happy all the time, doesn't mean you have to be "galau" all the time, no?
Although I must admit some of my favorite bloggers write from that inner darkness, but they write in a way that were insightful, often funny and amusing, and most of all, relatable. And I wish I were one of those writer-bloggers.
Haha, again this post is turning into a glob of rantings. But this is how I feel right now. I want to write more. Not just posting pictures, but actually putting words in a post. And if it means not blogging for months, then so be it.
I still love taking pictures, I still love cooking. I probably will still post about them more than often. But every once in a blue moon, I would like to just write.